Hope in difficult times… 2020 has been a brutal year! Pandemic – still under restrictions after many months and all of the effects of this on families, churches, businesses, jobs, etc. After opening up to various degrees over the summer, many countries and states have tightened the restrictions again. As if that wasn’t enough, throughout this year there have been racial tensions, rioting, threats to defund our police force. Political tensions. Hurricanes. Wildfires. And it seems to go on and on and on….
The Stockdale Paradox
I recently learned about the Stockdale Paradox and found it to be very interesting and possibly helpful. I think this idea has some applications to what we are dealing with now during this COVID19 pandemic. (I’m not saying that what we’re going through even remotely compares to what our POWs endured – just that this idea might be helpful as we come to terms with what’s going on in our world now.)
James Stockdale was a prisoner of war in the “Hanoi Hilton” for over 7 years during the VietNam war. He endured horrible, unspeakable conditions and torture. And yet he made it home alive. Somehow he managed to hang onto hope in the most difficult of times.
Hope vs. Optimism
In a discussion with Stockdale about his coping strategies, author Jim Collins asked him which prisoners didn’t make it out. Stockdale’s answer surprised me. He said that it was the optimists who didn’t make it out. Now wait a minute! What? I thought “attitude is everything,” and that if we’re optimistic, we’ll be fine. Stockdale went on to say that the optimists had this thought process: “We’ll be out by Thanksgiving,” then, “We’ll be out by Christmas,” then “We’ll be out by Easter.” The next thing you know, it’s Thanksgiving again, and they’re still there. False hope after false hope. These prisoners died of broken hearts.
Hope Deferred
Reading about this resonated with me, because I realized that’s what I’ve been doing since this pandemic started. When we first went on lockdown I remember thinking things like:
- This’ll be over in a couple months
- The library will open again by the time I finish this stack of books
- Everyone will be back in the office again soon
- My daughter will be able to go on her summer trips
- My daughter will be able to go on her fall retreat
- The mask order will be over in a month… I stopped counting how many times it was extended, and now they’ve mandated even more restrictions
And after every disappointment I lost a little bit more hope that this is ever going to end. As it says in Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”
Reality & Hope in Difficult Times
So if optimism doesn’t help – what does? How did James Stockdale and other POWs who made it home alive cope? According to Stockdale, “You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end… with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be” (i.e. we are not going to be out of here by Christmas). Stockdale also believed that he would prevail by making this experience the defining event of his life. This is the Stockdale Paradox – believing that you’ll prevail combined with facing the harsh reality of your current situation.
These POWs had no control over their circumstances. They had no idea when (or if) they would make it out. And yet with the right mindset, many of them, like Stockdale, prevailed.
Obviously, our circumstances during the COVID19 pandemic are nothing like being held as a prisoner of war. But – we have very little control over our circumstances. There’s no way to know when this will finally come to an end. We don’t know when (or if) the government is going to allow us to open up more. Or if they will put us back on stricter restrictions. Will the mask mandate end? Or will it be extended – again. When a vaccine is available – how safe and effective will it actually be? Will I get laid off from my job? When will our church be able to open up again to full capacity without masks? Will schools ever be held in person again? Surely 2021 be better – but what if it’s not?
Faith & Hope in Difficult Times
Applying the Stockdale Paradox could be helpful with this. First, we need to stop with the false optimism and face the facts. Here in Colorado, we went on lockdown in March. Although some of the restrictions have been relaxed – it is now December and things are still not back to normal. In fact, they are once again increasing the restrictions. This is having serious negative financial, emotional, and spiritual effects on many people.
Face Reality
First, sit down and write out all of the facts – how this is affecting you and your family, your finances, your sense of community. What have you had to give up? Also write down what is good – the silver linings, what you’ve learned, what you are grateful for. Face the reality of this situation for you. Once you have everything written out instead of swirling around in your mind, you will have a more realistic picture, and you’ll be able to look for creative solutions. And you might realize that some things are not as bad as you thought they were.
Hang onto your faith
Second, we need to have faith that ultimately we will prevail. If you – like I am – are a believer in Jesus Christ, we can cling to the fact that even when things are difficult, He is going through it with us. “Do not fear for I am with you… Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)
Faith isn’t “wishing” or false optimism. It is based on the truth of who God says He is in Scripture. It is also based on our experience of His faithfulness to us in the past. Yes, we’re going through hardship but in the end, by His grace and power in us, we will prevail. Cling to that every day. Take each day as it comes and look for the victory in each day. Find things to be thankful for. Keep your eyes on the hope that we have in Christ. He will never leave us or forsake us. And ultimately, if we belong to Jesus, we’ll be with Him forever.
Let this make you better
Third, let this time of difficulty be a defining time in your life. How can you grow from this? What can you learn during this difficulty? How can you come out of this stronger and better? Can you grow closer to God through this? What can you do to help someone else? I know, this is a hard truth to accept, but the hard times in life come to help us grow. “…we exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope…” (Romans 5:3-5)
True Hope in Difficult Times
Rather than focusing on false optimism (mere wishing), focus on what is real. Instead of continuously placing hope in your circumstances changing (and being disappointed over and over again) put your faith in God and His truth for this reality. Yes, there are problems and struggles. Some of them are severe and life-altering. But God is with us and in us, and we will prevail.
Response Magic